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The Art And Science Of Love
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What is love?
Is it a feeling that you feel when you feel a feeling that you have never felt before?
That is the standard of love that most appear to strive for and experience. For them, love is mostly about their personal feelings. We could be describing gas!
Boredom sets in when the feeling evaporates and love disappears in the wind. Since the goal of love is to bond two people into a beneficial relationship forever, this kind of love is reduced to a transaction in which two people will continue to associate with each other as long as there are mutual benefits or something more exciting is not on the horizon.
The Bible introduces a different approach to love or relationship bonding.

The Language Of Love.
To study the biblical concept of love we have to look at two cultures.

Greek Love. The Greeks have four words to define many types of love. The Bible uses three of these.

Hebrew Love. Most Christian analysis of love is based on the Greek, the language of the New Testament. The Old Testament gives additional insight into the concept of love.

The Art Of Love: Chesed-Agape.
Let us examine the biblical concept of love by beginning with this famous chapter on love in 1 Corinthians 13.
Love is a choice. Agape is the kind of love that is not based on feelings, but is based on doing good as a principle. Agape is not concerned about what others have done or are doing or will do. Agape pours out love despite what returns. There are no conditions under which agape will not love.

Agape Works (Matthew 5).
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus defines the behavior of agape. Declaring that He has not come to banish the laws of the Old Testament, Jesus takes not only the Ten Commandments but other laws that address our interaction with others and opens them up to a more communal meaning.
Excessive Righteousness. Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 5: 17-20)

The Science Of Love.
Law 1 - 4 Female Submissive Law 5 - 10
Bond
LawPraise
Cube
Mercy
Meals
Prayer Exclusive
Intellectual
Pillar Ear
Pillar Eye
Pillar Mouth
Pillar Nose
Pillar Skin
Law 1 - 4 Male Dominant Law 5 - 10
The relationship design is based on a host of scientific principles and chemicals which influence the decisions and behavior of living creatures. Animals respond to chemical signals called pheromones. Trees go through their scheduled cycles of activity, producing flowers to attract match makers who will help them pollinate. In all these living systems, the single goal of this cycle of heat and calm is to reproduce. The more advanced the species, the more the time between heat cycles becomes important. So, although love peaks in an important ten minute act, the long intervening period between this union is mediated by this process we call love.

The Sanctuary Called Love. The sanctuary models the relationships of subatomic particles in particle physics. The entire model is also a pattern of successful, creative relationships on any level.

The Mechanics Of Love.
Normal And Expected Dynamics
Love CommitmentBondsIntimacy
ReciprocalGive
Receive
Reciprocal
UnrequitedGiveUnreciprocated
LoveChesedAgapeUnconditional
Anticipated
LoveAhabStorge UnrequitedGive
Receive
Nature
Anticipated
ReciprocalReciprocal
LovePhilos ReciprocalGive
Receive
Nurture
Reciprocal
Conditional Anticipated
LoveErosReciprocalGive
Receive
Reciprocal
The dynamics of our emotions flow with the same rhythm as the rest of the universe. Every thing gives and receives. The wind and rain flow in cycles. The earth and the sea give up water which is purified as it rises to form the clouds. Then it is returned in the form of rain to water the trees and the earth.
Electrons flow from the south to the north pole and back again. The earth revolves, creating cycles of air and water that purifies its systems.
Love flows from the giver to the receiver with varying expectations of return.
While the popular concept of love presents itself as an unstable dynamics of feelings and emotions, true love is based on a law that never quits. This law has several components. Any single component does not constitute enduring love, it takes all three in varying configurations to construct love as defined by God.
Like the roles of the Trinity in the Plan Of Salvation, the roles of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit also play a part in restoring the love of God in the universe. These attributes are outlined in this verse.
Commitment, Bonding And Intimacy. The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Ghost, be with you all. Amen. (2 Corinthians 13: 14)

  1. The Commitment To Love (The Grace Of God). True love never fails. I begin with this as the first principle of love because God made the decision to love and care for us before He began the process of forming the relationship. The exceptional kindness and unwavering support of God has made a glorious future possible for anyone who wants it. Jesus Christ committed Himself to us before the creation.
    The Unmerited Grace Of God. And all that dwell upon the earth shall worship him, whose names are not written in the book of life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world. (Revelation 13: 8) Toxic Love Malfunction. Prenuptial agreements and punitive contracts all point to anticipation of dysfunctional love in a dysfunctional world. All these precautions point to a lack of commitment because of an expectation of failure.
    Toxic Love Severing Commitment. Abandonment is the sign that the lover is no longer interested.
    Toxic Love Hate. To be an act of love, commitment must be voluntary. Slavery is forced commitment. It extracts time and effort without any of the benefits of love.
    Salvation Love Salvation Love (Baptism). Baptism is the public sign of our commitment to God. Crucifixion was His sign.
    God's Love The Love Of God (The Son). He was the one who volunteered to demonstrate the unconditional Love of God through His life and commitment to the human race to the point of sacrificial death.
    Commited To Us Because of Him. According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: (Ephesians 1: 4)
    Science Love Science (Vasopressin). Long term commitment and devotion are associated with this hormone.

  2. The Magnetic Bonds (Attachment Of The Love Of God). An important aspect of love is that there must be a lover and an object loved. There must be self and others. This love flows out like streams of magnetism. This love is known and felt by what it does. Several scenarios can occur within these dynamics.
    » The Bonds Of Love. One of the greatest testimony to the power of love is to join two dissimilar people. This takes a special bonding system. God's picture of perfect love is that in any type of love all these dimensions must be engaged to some degree.
    » Dysfunctional Bonds. The strongest bonds include all three dimensions. They are spiritual, mental and physical. However, human love is generally dysfunctional because we have prioritized physical love. The Bible gives us guidance on the bonds we make because these permanent bonds are important for maintaining our relationship with God.
    • Divorce. Marriage should be entered in with the expectation that it will be permanent and with the knowledge of the awesome purpose marriage was designed to achieve. Through marriage God designed the only way to enlarge the species, unite strangers and reflect the creative unity of God.
      Permanently Bonded. Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Matthew 19: 6)
    • Unequally Yoked With Unbelievers. Since marriage is a permanent union, the selection of a spouse is crucial. The most important requirement is that our life partner must be a dedicated believer. It is not enough that we believe in the same God, we must believe the same things about God.
      Same Beliefs. Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6: 14)
      We can see the effects of being unequally yoked in oxen. Oxen that are different sizes, height, speed and even temperament do not make good partners. A building with different length and heights in the walls is an odd structure that will require extra support.
      You and your potential spouse must first be married to God before you attempt this union. You must not think so lightly about this important duty that your spouse pretends a last minute conversion. Unfortunately, marriages based on such conversions are probably between two who are executing their own will and inviting God to be part of the charade at the last minute. Even within the same church you can be bonded with an unconverted soul. You must be drawn to your potential spouse because they have a loving relationship with God and their character reveals this bond.
    • Prostitution And Fornication. This text suggests that something important happens with any sexual union.
      Imprinting. What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. 1 Corinthians 6: 16-17)
      The immune system remembers pathogens (germs) for years so that it can recognize them when they invade the next time. We may have a system that imprints every sexual partner and encounter. When we have multiple partners it is as if we are having multiple exposures on the same important strip of mental film. We are creating a confusing image in the part of our mind that is tasked with maintaining this bond. Eventually, we have mental fatigue and the adhesive bond will not hold with anyone.
      • Unnatural (Physical). Prostitution is a purely physical intimate bond. Fornication lies somewhere between. For males it is usually a physical scorecard but for females it is more likely associated with mental-emotional feelings. A commitment to marriage generally means that both male and female have entered into a three dimensional bond. Anything less is a weakness in the bond that risks rupture.
      • Illegal (Physical). There is a special type of physical contact that is only legal between adult strangers. Rape, incest and pedophilia are hate-filled acts motivated by purely selfish brute desires.
    • Demon Possession And Dark Associations. The spiritual bond can only be made with God, but access to the mind is a prized jewel for Satan. Demon possession is a criminal act, a brutal mental rape, which is aimed at taking over the mind in order to control our thoughts and physical movements. The Bible forbids us from forming relationships with those who deal in the occult because this is an opportunity for spiritual bonding with the ideas and possibly the personalities of these dark forces.
      Married To God. But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. 1 Corinthians 6: 17)

    Toxic Love Malfunction: . Love malfunctions when the receiver is incapable of returning love or when the receiver exploits the lover and the benefits of the relationship with no intention of returning the love.
    More sinister bonds form when one is incapable of severing the bond. In the case where bonds are severed, stalking behavior and predatory harassment occurs to reestablish the bond. In the case where bonds are intact, extreme possessiveness and intimidation are used to maintain the bond.
    Toxic Love Severing The Bonds Of Love: . Love can be legally formalized through adoption or marriage and dissolved through divorce or death. The bonds of informal arrangements are more tenuous and transitory.
    Toxic Love Hate. Extreme acts of possession that kill or imprison the one that is supposed to be loved. Murder-suicide and extreme forms of submission where the object loved cannot choose to sever because of deliberate actions to make the person totally dependent financially, physically and emotionally so that they have no options. Voluntarily love is not sought, only power and control. This is a sort of legalized rape.
    Salvation Love Salvation Bonding (Marriage And Adoption). The Bible gives two pictures of the result of the bonds with God. We will be adopted as children and we will be the bride of the Lamb of God.
    God's Love The Love Of God (The Father). After making the commitment to help us, He is wooing us with bonds of friendship because we are enemies.
    God Bonds. I drew them with cords of a man, with bands of love: and I was to them as they that take off the yoke on their jaws, and I laid meat unto them. (Hosea 11: 4)
    Unbreakable Bonds. What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8: 31, 35, 38-39)
    Science Love Science (Oxytocin). This hormone facilitates trust and attachment by feelings of intimacy and bonding. It is important in strengthening pair bonding, such as the bond between mother and child and helping men to be faithful.

  3. The Strength And Intensity Of Love (Intimacy And Fellowship Of God).
    While the foundation of commitment is the walls and bonding is the glue of a relationship, intimacy is the space where you live out the love relationship. True love is tenacious. While the other two aspects of love are the basic foundation and are the unconditional attributes of agape love, this dimension seeks to build a relationship with the beloved by taking proactive steps to woo the beloved into the space prepared for love.
    Birds build nests and attract a mate, the Jewish bridegroom prepares a room for his bride and Jesus goes to heaven to prepare a place for us. In the same way, one who loves must prepare for the intimacy by building a structure in which this relationship will survive. This structure is first in the mental and spiritual plane before if takes shape in the physical world in the form of a marriage and a home.

    This aspect of love begins with an assumption of a commitment to reciprocal love or the hope of such love. This love seeks to woo the beloved in anticipation of an appropriate relationship in one of the major categories of love: storge (family), philos (friends) and eros (spouse). Using the natural laws we can see how to strengthen our relationships. Toxic Love Malfunction: . Stalking, inappropriate physical intimacy, bonds that strangle, or drive a wedge and imprison are all indications of abusive intentions.
    Toxic Love Severing Love (Insurance). If you do not have God in your family then manage your risk and plan for failure.
    Toxic Love Hate. Rape and spiritual possession are all examples of brutal, forced intimacy.
    Salvation Love Salvation Intimacy (Holy Spirit Possessed). The indwelling Holy Spirit is our constant companion who expresses the love of God and who will teach us how to love.
    God's Love The Love Of God (Holy Spirit). The role of the Holy Spirit is described in terms of intimacy. He is the one who lives inside us. He is the constant Companion who prepares the bride of Christ for her marriage.
    And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter [Helper, beside-caller, One called-beside, parakletos], that he may abide with you for ever; (John 14: 16)
    Science Love Science (Dopamine And Phenylalanine (PEA)). These hormones provide intensity and focus.

The Fifth Love: Reciprocated Agape (Loving God).
We only recognize four loves in the Greek language, but there is a fifth. God is a fountain of agape love, perpetually giving and giving without receiving. We become aware of true love when we first realize how much we are loved.
The Origin Of Love. We love him, because he first loved us. (1 John 4: 19)
How do we respond to such love? How do we love God in return?

Agape shows that love is a choice. Love is the choice that makes you continue to seek and provide the good FOR others. Hopefully, it will generate good IN others. True love ignores feelings and personal consequences in order to pursue this goal of helping others. To that end, God is the ultimate model of love. God is love.

Study to show yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.   2 Timothy 2: 15 Time: 90 minutes
Print: 16 pages
Copyright     First Created 13 October 2012.
Love. URL: http://www.dabhand.org/Word%20Studies/Love.htm
Credits:
Author: Laverna Patterson. Editor: Patterson (September 2013)